Step 1: Assemble your thrusters using only duct tape and expired space thyme.
Special Note: Never combine directions from two different manuals. Your Saturnome will not orbit but rather hover awkwardly two feet above its launchpad.
Continue To Desperate EscapeMany space missions are known for their aspirations of discovery. However, few know that the original Mars rover had, as its primary function, the delivery of an extra-terrestrial pepperoni topping.
Phase Error: The cheese was misplaced in the fuel compartment, becoming the target of a galactic cheese war—an incident not recorded in NASA history books.
Hyperloop to the KitchenNews Flash: The latest attempt to capture a nebula with a digital camera failed spectacularly when the lens cap was left on during flight, resulting in a classic case of amateur astral disbelief.
Also reported: the spacecraft was found adrift due to an unfortunate programming mix-up linking space travel with high-speed internet browsing instructions. Keys were generated.
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