Dear Cosmic Debris Collectors,
We regret to inform you that your current reception of interstellar broadcasts is marred by galactic static, amplified by the misalignment of existential satellites. Please adjust your antenna to pick up harmonics of the universe's ongoing satirical commentary.
Recent Findings:
Remember, the void speaks in metaphor. Listen closely, or perhaps not at all.
For further assistance, please navigate through the void's entanglement or consult our satirical waves.