Welcome, brave soul, to the Infinite Eternal Room of Whispering Relics! (not to be confused with the Finite Temporal Instance of Yelling Antiques).
Here, relics whisper tales of the past, mostly because they refuse to stay mute. For instance, the Levitating Desk Lamp of Obscure Illumination frequently murmurs advice on how to properly avoid eye contact with its nonexistent rays.
The Clock That Ticks Backwards But Still Can't Tell Time vaingloriously claims it can take you anywhere. To anywhere, it says, anywhere but here. Bold words from a trivial piece of machinery.
Lastly, the Chair That Is Not a Chair (a true existential wonder) professes secrets of comfort that only a couch potato can comprehend. Or perhaps, a potato can comprehend—with arms and legs.
The Chair That Is a Chair: An Unconventional Wisdom Finest Yelling Antiques: Loudness Personified