"Oh, the folly of brilliance," the star lamented, its nuclear pyrotechnics dimming to a flicker. "All these epochs, drawing circles in the cosmos. And yet, here I am — a ball of gas with a LinkedIn profile."
Tongue-in-cheek, it pondered: "What more can the universe expect from me? A viral dance trend on TikTok? Surely supernova selfies won't trend."
As it began its final descent toward oblivion, the star mused, "Perhaps I should've participated in the Great Galactic Bake-Off. A pie chart of stellar proportions could save me now."
Discover more cosmic satire in Nebular Irony or ponder the profound in Astrophysical Parodies.