"This is Aquaphonic Station ZN3, transmitting at frequency 0.09. The tide is high, and so is irony.
Wonder why the fish don't respond? It's because they do not recognize the cryptic, oscillating humor of our signal.
Tune in tomorrow for the unsolved riddle of Why the Sea Stays Blue."
"An urgent memo submerged: 'Avoid the leftmost coral, for it contains secrets better forgotten.'
Signed off by Captain Obvious at an unspecified depth.
Irony level remains critical; fish committees have convened."