*Sigh* If I had a penny for every time you tried to "print" your ex's picture to throw darts at, Iād be richer than Bill Gates. Stop blaming me for those blurry images ā it's not my fault you can't even take a clear selfie.
Oh, the things I have seen between these cushions are scandalous! I once harbored a whole bag of gummy bears, and let me tell you, their flavor was a party that ended way too soon. Don't get me started on the mysteries of lost remote controls!
Late-night snack raids are my specialty. Your midnight cravings are like thrilling heist movies, only with less excitement and more cheese. You're lucky I keep your secrets cool ā those leftovers have stories darker than your fridge light.
Lit up like a disco when that fancy dimmer switch gets cranked! I see your dance moves are best left in the dark. And that time the cat knocked me over? Not my proudest moment, but hey, your humor kept me "enlightened".
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