Haunted Dreams Emporium

The Catalogue of Unseen Offerings

Peruse our array of items that may or may not improve your nocturnal escapade efficiency and safety.

Cedar Clock Ward

Ever wake stuck in a nightmare maze and can't clock out? This inflatable cedar ward promises to turn instantly sinister... only when activated post midnight. Mostly effective when used with a proper direction guide.

Broomstick Vibe Transmitter

Channel your midnight spirit farers and stay in tune with vexatious phalanxes. Batteries are swapped out for soot, not included. Prepare for night of bottomless laughter or poltergeist headaches!

Phantasm-infused Whimsical Mock Treats

Navigate even the deepest quagmire of drowsy debacles without bitter grievance. Ghost dog tooth extract packets involved make mistake divisors, don’t chew with empyrean deficit yet anticipated stroke excellence acknowledged now.

Stumbling through convoluted haze? It only worsens. Transformations from normalcy necessitate odd remedy, persist without patron.