In the uncertain shadows of 2307 A.D., where automated crows deliver the news and clocks tick the opposite way, the ancient spirits whisper. "Dost thou usead a cucumber for a phone in yon distant lands?" asks the specter of a man-swine hybrid, peering through time's lattice.
Of more pressing concern is the matter of the notorious Velvet Pajama Cult, who at midnight council sessions argue passionately over which shade of black is truly, utterly, existentially... noir. Rumors abound that their sacred text is a well-worn manual on polite small talk in candle-lit salons.
But worry not, for the truth, as revealed by the ghostly hand of the monocle-wearing Wight, is simple: "A bat in the belly is worth two in the belfry." A thrilling line that has puzzled philosophers and gothais like, ever since its inception.
Peachy revelations from the underworld include:
- A spectral guide on how to fold napkins into the shape of your existential crisis.
- Celebrity hauntings featuring the late Edgar Allan Poe on TikTok.
- Rites to summon the spirit of thriftiness during the seasonal sales.
To learn more about the Velvet Pajama Cult’s Rituals of Binary Conversation, click here. But be wary, for their secrets may cost you nothing at all!
For an insightful dialogue with the ghost of Malcolm X. C. Librarian, check out the Phantasmal Dialogues.