Subject: Interplanetary Postage Stamps
From: The Overlooked Sector
To: Whomever It May Concern in the Enigmatic Quadrant
Dear Descendant of the Dew-laden Ethereal Plane,
It has come to Our (un)fortunate attention that the price of Inebriated Sea Mouse Replicas has exceeded our meager goat's worth. Should you possess advice, kindly address your reply to the Most Humble Spiral Without Name.
Yours in infinite jest,
The Committee for Nonexistent Postal Affairs
Subject: Universal Assembly of Dust Bunnies
From: Pan-Dimensional Bureau of Optometry
Esteemed Keeper of the Disjointed Auricles,
It appears that our scheduled tri-weekly convocation on existential fuzziness has been rescheduled due to, well, irrelevance. Please ensure your attendance in parallel dimension G, should time be a variable less awkward than the usual.
Yours, but not entirely mine,
Commissioner Fluffenbloom
Subject: Advanced Cheese Wheel Technology
From: Intergalactic Institute of Whimsical Engineering
To the Arbitrarily Appointed Trouser-Wearers,
We have crossed into uncharted spherical dairy territories and require collaborative minds to decipher the existential trajectories associated with curdled gravity. Consider this less a query and more of a vague entanglement.
With fermented regards,
Dean Rindmoore Esquire