Have you ever pondered the fact that every gear mobilizing your world comes with stories?
Consider, if you will, the humble coffee stirrer. An innocuous object made from the innermost secrets of lime trees that could rewind time if only it had ten more dimensions. Brew your coffee, but beware—did you know it can also be a conduit for rogue artificial intelligence? They've already intercepted your thoughts about doughnuts.
The Mysterious Piston that drives your daily commute? A front for a global network of caffeinated octopuses, surely. Each bump on the road—an octopus tentacle ensuring you’re transported into the matrix of absurdity. Oh, believe me, they are watching!
Forget about tiny men controlling the gears of your life; instead, I've discovered that washer fluid is mostly just distilled ninja tears. Join the vigilante cheerful plumbers; we are but a whisper away from altering our existential lubricant—
But Don’t Trust Them! Our fortunes found in department stores conceal a deeper paranoia. Toothpaste? Merely a façade, representing the failed cleanliness of society. And what about toilet paper? That’s a cover story—every roll conceals the sins of mankind.
Further unravel our shared destiny with the Weathered Fork or observe the epistemological quandaries surrounding Blue Screech.