Galactic Twirling Procedures

1. Initiate by locating the nearest black hole. It's usually disguised as an empty coffee cup in the Multiverse's local skyline.
2. Once found, approach with caution. Do not engage in direct eye contact unless you possess a handy existential guide.
3. Select your preferred twirl – clockwise or counter-clockwise. Never choose anti-giantism, that's just known for its confusing results.
4. Twirl gracefully in a sine wave pattern resembling a cosmic feline chasing its tail across the fabric of spacetime.
5. If gravitational forces become too dense, remember to pack a heavy-duty wrench for untwisting emergencies.