Intergalactic Memo #42: In an ironic twist of celestial fate, it has been decreed that all Martians shall henceforth refrain from using 'telekinesis' to reach the highest shelf in the Multiverse Library. Unbeknownst to them, the ironies of gravity are less potent when combined with otherworldly wit.
Transmission Update: Venusian Flora Regulations have now been oddly amended, allowing plants to wield sarcasm as an art form, thus qualifying them for the prestigious Blooming Irony Award. In other words, watch that Venus Flytrap — it might outwit you.
Quote of the Day from the Galactic Tribunal: "The stars shine brighter in the light of bureaucracy, and they know the power of a poorly filled form. Remember, their luminescence is not just cosmic, but also delightfully absurd." - Chancellor Nebulus IV