Once, in a realm not far, emperors were crowned in coffee ceremonies, complex dances performed around steaming mugs crowned with cinnamon. (A tale as old as 12 days ago)

The ancient scrolls spoke of a Great Mug War, where cups of goblets were tipped and liquids spilled to decide treaties over biscuits. (Do not try this at home)

In Coffee Mug Utopia, cats often run for president, mostly to sit on the throne that gives perfect sunbeam access. (Catnip parties win every election)