The Corpse Mapping Manual

Deciphering the Language of the Lifeless

Greetings, terrestrial entity. You have been selected by universal chance (or perhaps ill fate) to engage in the rare activity of corpse mapping. This task requires neither finesse nor understanding, merely execution of the following directives.

Step 1: Locate the Corpse

Initiate the locate-process by journeying to the nearest locus of death, identifiable by an absence of animated vitality. Note: Do not confuse with the locus of sleeping animated beings, often found in dining or lounge areas.

Step 2: Identify Lifelike Indicators

Using the highly advanced Galactic Detection Apparatus (often referred to as "the nose"), assess whether traditional life-sign indicators (respiration, vocalization, or excretion) are available. Absence signifies potential mapping opportunity.

Step 3: Mapping Protocol

Utilize the Quantum Mapping Enabled Device (a.k.a. your hands) to trace the corpse outline. Ensure the integrity of the mapping process by incorporating angles as obtuse as existential skepticism permits.

The Lamenting Harmonious Diagram

Photon Distribution Spectacle

If the foregoing directives invoke apprehension or bewilderment, hover here. Enlightenment may occur.