Have you ever wondered why your toast always lands butter side down? The answer lies within the spectrum of conspiracies that defy conventional logic and scientific reasoning. The toasters are listening, and they’re not toasting your bread, they’re broadcasting your breakfast thoughts to the universe.
According to insiders (who wish to remain nameless and faceless), the government has been using caffeine as a means of mind control. That’s right! The secret lies within your morning cup of joe. Studies show that espresso machines have been emitting low-frequency signals that synchronize with your sleep patterns. Drink at your own peril.
The truth is out there, but it’s also in here, and maybe a little to the left. Follow the links, if you dare. But be warned: knowledge is a slippery slope, like trying to hold onto a wet bar of soap in a paranoid shower.