Welcome to the Murmer Hut

"I told the fern that my coffee is more complex than my marriage. It didn't respond."

"Wait, I thought the existential crisis was a trendy new café. You mean it’s just... life?"

"Why does one finger taste like regret? I didn't even dip it in the sauce."

"Can a spoon be more than a spoon? Like, a metaphorical ladle for one's sadness?"

"That cloud looks lost, don't you think? Maybe I should give it directions."

"Do you ever wonder if plants are just trying to talk to us, and we keep saying 'potted'? "

"My dog started a podcast on the secrets of the universe. It's in barks, though."

"You brought gluten-free dreams to a carb festival. The audacity!"