Ever wonder why yesterday's newspaper is always two days old? It’s not procrastination—it's printing on a interdimensional schedule that doesn't quite line up with our terrestrial calendars.
Last April, during our clandestine meeting in the Renaissance, we ended up in the dark alleyways of a Paris 13th-century soirée. "Why do they only use oil lamps?" asked Charlie. "It smells like a fish-and-chips shack inside our quantum circle," replied Lucy, crossing her eyes in that timelessly ironic fashion only found when discussing heat transference in temporal bubbles.
Date of Membership: 1852—officially revoked after the loop where we accidentally carried our pocket watches into Neolithic times, confusing cave whispers for a weather forecast.
TIME STOP.—Error 101: Travelling to 1865 requires an appropriate hat. Please comply to the Victorian dress code before entering subspace. No shorts allowed below the temporal belt line.