"Indeed, the ancient tablets confirm it: Mondays are universally despised, even in the most civilized prehistoric settlements."

"Schrodinger's Cave: where the philosopher once pondered whether the stone was both rolled away and firmly in place."

"The Lost Manuscript: A guide to optimizing cave fire for maximum Instagram glowery."

"Ironic, that the ancients wished every detail of their lives to remain private until their tabloids unearthed them."