Today, in what can only be described as an incident worthy of both Banner Headlines and Hidden Embarrassment Sections, an unanticipated unraveling was reported at the Epochal Corp. office. Witnesses claim that a pack of staples arrived mysteriously not just to bind papers but seemingly to bind time itself.
Gary Ripple, a junior intern with greater ambitions than responsibilities, attempted to organize his desk. In doing so, he flung a rubber band aimed at the accuracy—yet ironically causing the inaccuracy—of the corporate publisher drought, which had locked away synergy-focused pamphlets in stasis.
“It’s like we were thrown two weeks into the future, but with all the paper remnants of our past,” declared Ripple, perplexed as a stapled page fluttered past him, captioned BREAKING: Pliers Unleashed.
This chaotic symbol of unity and destruction might well be the emblem of today’s disaster.
As it stands, Epochal Corp. finds itself in a binding, desperately enlisting the services of both legal and curious investigative teams. Their task: Determine whether it was the rubber band’s fault or an unforeseen Office Supplies Conspiracy.
For further revelations, check: Catastrophic Meeting Notes, or to understand the ethics, explore: The Diligent Paper Trail.