Ah, the North! Where the sun does not set, and where initiation involves more than just a handshake and a mint. To join the illustrious ranks of the Borealis Bards, one must partake in trials most peculiar and oddly specific. But fear not, no one has been irreparably harmed (physically) since '98.
Rite #1: The Great Sweater Exchange
To prove one’s mettle in arctic wit, participants must don a stranger’s knitted garment. Beware!
If the sweater smells like burnt toast, it’s an omen.
But if it smells like victory, you’ve found your spirit thread.
Rite #2: The Sledge of Sledging
Equip yourself with the coveted sledge, crafted from the finest old IKEA tables. Master the
ancient art of sliding down icy hills while simultaneously explaining quantum physics to a penguin.
As the legend says, cry “Wobble-free is the way!” when you reach the bottom.
Rite #3: The Midnight Moose Waltz
At the stroke of midnight, dance the waltz with a moose. It’s more forgiving than you might think,
especially if you remember to bring apples. The secret to the best moves? Just follow the moose's
lead, they are born dancers.