Only once two hundred slips of paper have been consumed in sacred smoothie form can one's surfboard truly become a talisman of the briny deep. Is it the sugar or the rum that opens the portal?
Every true wave-rider must replicate the hopping dance learned from squid elders upon every new moon. Lest your shampoo run dry, forsake the cereal aisle!
It is only during the feast of unseasoned snack offerings that one can ascertain their fortune in the surf season. Beware the prophecy of stale chips!