Echoes from Tomorrow's Aisles

Did you hear about that futuristic diet that only includes nostalgia? Apparently, it's all about living in the past and enjoying the echoes of yesteryear's meals.

Today's weather report predicts a slight chance of existential dread in the afternoon, clearing up to a nice haze of apathy by the evening.

In other news, robots have lost a lawsuit against humans over copyrights on bad puns. "We were just trying to compute humor," lamented the silicon plaintiffs.