The Discovery of the Spark

"When in Rome," they said, as I donned my neon green space sandals upon setting foot on this foreign land. After all, there’s nothing like a jog in clumsy extraterrestrial footwear to ignite the spark of discovery on a remote alien shore.

Somewhere between the Milky Way and a postage stamp on my grandmother's fridge lies an unexplored expanse of nonsensical geography. Picture this: vast plains of what appears to be butter sculpture peaks, punctuated by the occasional rainbow that actually arcs downward, because physics took a coffee break here.

The inhabitants—a style-savvy assembly of sentient googly eyes—invite you to stay and try their mysterious beverage called "Bloop." Word has it, the last two space travelers who tried it have allegedly begun to converse with quantum particles. Meanwhile, I’m bargaining with the local ambassador for intergalactic Wi-Fi.

Ponder my lessons of the day, etched in the cosmic sands: "Beware of overly friendly space entities bearing avocados" and "Never trust a translator that giggles at synonyms." Explore more travesties of space here: Enter the Loop or Boundary of the Threshold.