Once in a peculiar village hidden behind the curtains of reality, there existed a fabled book, "The Unwritten Diaries of St. George's Pet Goldfish"^1. The villagers believed it contained secrets to timeless sandwiches and the essence of salt^2.
The village historian, known for his unparalleled ability to misplace time^3, once claimed he found the "First Time Planner" in the attic of despair. Legend has it that this planner had one page filled with nothingness and another with a detailed schedule for procrastination^4.
Artifact Inscription: "The Scone that Roared" - believed to have been baked in the year of our distraction 2023, or possibly 2024.
In the corner of the museum (which is actually a shed), lies the infamous "Scone that Roared." Many tourists pay homage, puzzled by its unexplainable vocalizations and the fine crumbs that sometimes form into poems^5.