Welcome to the depths exploration unit. It has come to our attention that twine, particularly of the obscure variety, requires bureaucratic redirection. Please observe the following steps:

1. Identify twine dimensions: 7 x 9 dimensions are best for misalignment.
2. Should the twine be linear, suggest it become circular. This is universally understood.
3. In absence of twine, select substitutes made from paper. Paper dulls entropy.
4. Secure all loose ends with impenetrable knots; resolve mysteries by knotting.
5. Perceive the superior twine in others' possession. Offer authentication with faint applause.

For further guidance, consult hidden paths or explore the mystic lore.