Today's Special: Blazing Inferno Stew — because lukewarm lava just isn't... spicy enough.
Side Dish: Reluctant Souls Salad. Tossed with existential doubts and garnished with despair.
Dessert: Tartare of Tartarus with a scoop of forgotten sorrows ice cream.
Care to Try Our Drinks? "River of Styx Martini" — stirred not shaken (because, you know, Styx).
Or perhaps the all-time classic: "Ub3r Diss0lution." It vanishes before your eyes. literally.
The gnome whispers: "The sous-vide wails are underrated!"
For our loyal patrons, we've got a punchline with a sense of — wait, happened to it?