Once a humble sundial, now an avant-garde alarm clock for the eternally late.
Worn as jewelry yet never fashionable, it turns backward, leading to opposite adventures.
The Babylonians dreamt of coffee before enlightenment—this is their cup, sans the liquid.
Combining relics of ancient Greece and Schrödinger’s irony, it measures what isn't there.
Use it wisely: predictions involve cats and existential crises.
Made obsolete by Wi-Fi constellations and GPS divinations.
Invented to shade the sun on particularly bright days—efficacy questionable yet stylish.
Features include a manual crank and a Bluetooth app for moon phases.
Its primary role: to confuse astronomers at cocktail parties.