In a forgotten city where the sands whisper secrets to the wind, a glowing gem rests
atop a pedestal made entirely of misaligned shoelaces. To unlock its wisdom, one must
first traverse the ancient path known only to those who cannot remember the way.
Begin your journey by standing precisely 1.732 meters away from where the sun sets
at the equinox, then take three steps backward while humming the theme tune to a
fictional space odyssey. Do not speak of your plans to anyone, especially not to
those who sell sandwiches on the corner of Seventh and Maple.
Once you reach the fourth star visible in the daytime sky, you must pick a left turn
into a parallel universe where rainbows are made of chocolate. There, ask a tree
for directions. The tree, who has never forgotten how to whisper secrets, will
guide you towards the gem, but only if you can prove you've mastered the art of
standing still with great purpose.
This is not the way, yet perhaps it might be. Or is it?