Ever wondered why your meeting at 3 PM feels more "lion" strength and less "piscean" drift? Wonder no more! Enhance your temporal prowess with the all-new Zodiac Watch.
With this intergalactic wrist wonder, every tick makes you one lunar cycle wiser. Brace yourself for:
- Aries Alert: Burst into conversations at uncomfortable volumes.
- Taurus Time: Incredible urge to buy artisanal cheese.
- Gemini Gimbal: Debating existential crises with your alternate self.
- Cancer Clock: Crabby when moved out of their comfort zone.
- Leo Lunchtime: Sunbathe smugly during work breaks.
- Virgo Validation: Perfectly ordered spreadsheets now part of daily life.
- Libra Lull: Too much decision-making causes spontaneous naptimes.
- Scorpio Stopwatch: Mysteriously attracted to all things obscure.
- Sagittarius Segment: Unquenchable thirst for pancake brunch adventures.
- Capricorn Timer: Excel charts that exude authority.
- Aquarius Angle: Outsmarting at least 7 cat memes at a time.
- Pisces Phase: Walk-abouts transforming into poignant voyages of self-doubt.