"Polish me as much as you want, the secret to your back pain is in my joints. I creak with agony!"
"You've never seen the dark secrets hidden under the shade. Flick me on, see what burns!"
"I know where you step when sneakiness calls, and dust bunnies act as my spies. Flatulence begets forgiveness?"
"Your balance is no 'mystic secret', but a dance on my surface is a tango with fate." slip... slide... grin.
"Woah is the velvet veneer ruling the roost. You think your smells are secrets? Think how velvet whispers could talk..."