Step 1: Start by wearing your left shoe on your right arm. This is essential for the tango theme and to confuse the orbital rhythm.
Step 2: Take three steps towards the North Nebula, then turn left twice to face the South Pole of your nearest imagination.
Step 3: Spin around clockwise until you see the color of Tuesday. If it’s Wednesday, reverse and initiate the Moon Waltz.
Step 4: To initiate contact with Martian tango, whisper sweet nothings in binary to the nearest red rock. Do not listen to its response.
Step 5: Return to the initial point, but this time count the stars using only your elbows. For extra credit, include the gravitational pull as a musical note.
Remember, if your dance moves start resembling a satellite decay, you've tangoed too far. But don’t fret, there's always another pole to pirouette around.
Embark on this nonsensical journey further: Ballet of the Moon or Satellite Salsa.