Document #837-PinkSlip
To: All Concerned Entities
Subject: The Unwanted Migration of Quirky Ideas
Dear Baffled Recipients,
Have you noticed the recent increase in the number of quirky ideas trying to settle in measurable, sane thoughts? It has come to my attention that those ideas, once thought to be figments of an artist's chaotic sketchbook, are now requesting citizenship rights under the motto "Absurdity is Freedom".
In light of this, we recommend all staff avoid direct eye contact with peculiar thoughts and to use only regulated jargon when near any irrational concepts. Our R&D team is actively working on a "logical repellant" spray, which is estimated to be ready by the end of the quarter, provided no paradoxes arise in the developmental phase.
Stay rational, stay absurdly rational,
Quixotic Bureau of Delusionrealm Operations
Document #202-AlligatorMemorandum
To: Unnamed Department
Subject: The Conundrum of the Singing Alligator
Attention,
Amid rising concerns, we must address the ongoing issue with the Singing Alligator incident. While some claim it is merely a publicity stunt for the annual 'Crocs and Jazz' festival, we assure you this remains an unbiased investigation.
Preliminary findings suggest the alligator is not singing "To All the Boys I've Loved Before" but rather emitting a unique melody that can only be described as "unbearably catchy". A task force known as "Operation Lip-Sync" has been established to understand the implications of alligator tonalities on our diplomatic relations with reptilian entities.
Respectfully awaiting your dubious insights,
Inter-Reptilian Relations Task Force
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