Gather around, ye curious cats and cosmic chickens, for the Lunatic has tales to tell! I once met Julius Caesar, and to my surprise, he was quite fond of green romaine. True story!
Once upon a time, in the year of the bucket hat 1973, the Disco Genie granted me three wishes. My first? A pair of sparkly loafers! My second? To improve the beat of history itself. And the third... well... it was a waffle iron.
Ever tried conversing with a woolly mammoth? Let's just say my jokes about ice ages went over their heads. Speaking of which, have you checked out the mammoth fashion faux pas? Their stylist had no clue!
And here’s a little secret: The pyramids were originally intended to house the world’s largest karaoke party! But alas, history had other tunes to play.
Sometimes I wonder if Cleopatra preferred her eyeliner made by the ancient Egyptians or if she'd have given more shine to her eyes with modern moisturizers. Either way, her eyeliner was definitely on point!