Ever wonder if satellites gossip? Floating around in the abyss, peering at your secret barbecue plans?
They probably say stuff like, "Oh look, another A-list celebrity has decided to hide their face from the sun."
"Did you see Earth 2.0? Same drama, different solar system," mutters the old geostationary satellite.
But honestly, do we need the cosmos to relay our daily woes? "Oh, traffic's bad this time of year.","Uh-oh, another influencer trend on Mars."