Sea Secrets

As the tide ebbs and flows, so do our conversations. Ever tried beard-braiding a sea serpent? Let's just say it involves a lot of seaweed and questionable toolkits.

The Sea Speaks Wisely

"Look," said the ocean, waving its hands (literally), "the truth is vast and occasionally smells of fish."

Why don't skeletons ever pay the sea a visit? Because they always end up in some port skeleton joking about how their ships seem to have a bone to pick with them.

"Immerse yourself," the waves chant, "but if you must trot, at least trot with gills.

Ugly Truths Revealed

A crab once disclosed to me its morning routine. Spoiler alert: It involves less sanding and sauntering than you'd think and more pinching than is socially allowed at kiddie pools.

I asked the itinerary-scribbling gull why it flies so far for sushi. The reply? "Ever tried an all-you-can-eat buffet over a sand dune? Limited choices aren't a dietary philosophy; it's just called 'stuck in the shallows.'