Dear astronomers of the finicky telescope, welcome. The universe has messages for you — though they're mostly confused updates and the occasional spurious horoscope.
Signal from Beyond:
"Help! I am stuck in an asteroid and can't find my glasses!"
A cosmic wisecrack: Why does the galaxy never get lost? Because it always uses GPS — Galactic Positioning System!
Sky Notes: Mercury just adopted a cat, and Saturn insists on building a ring around its Twitter circle. Stars are twinkling, or rather, they are having a twinkle-off.