Transmission 219X84-D: "Lost Banana Chronicles" discovered stashed within a galactic slurp. Contact at 0117834445 Mars sector.
Frequency FF-Goo: Reports of golden relics that resemble... office paperclips? Undefinable mysteries unveiled beneath the stars.
Pulse 09860: Decode at your own peril, for it speaks of the Fried Planet Doctrine. Final solution involves, suspiciously, pomegranates.
Artifacts and Oddities:
Decoded Satire: Behold the fractured alien artifacts!