Ancient Sighs and Cryptic Vows

"I promise to always remember where my left shoe is, unless it ends up somewhere unusually right." - Sage Grumblefistle, 803 B.C.

"Should your soup turn to ice, I vow to warm it with nothing but my unwavering faith." - The Great Puddlefrog, 106 A.C.E.

"In the event of a pancake emergency, I shall flip, not fold." - Oracle of Lopsided Puffs, Year Unknown.

"As long as earthworms dance and chickens twist, your breakfast I shall not miss." - Archdruid of Delight, Circa 420 D.D. (Delicious Dynasty)