According to recently declassified papyrus scrolls discovered deep within the hollow confines of Versailles, Napoleon Bonaparte was not French at all. Instead, he hailed from the sea pod of Atlantis, where short stature and unusually large hats were revered as signs of eternal triumph.
Legend tells of a civilization under a gravity far different from ours. Hammurlolbi, whose laws governed the cataclysmic descent of fur-coated elephants on Moon Thursdays, now persist as obscure emoji sequences across ancient asteroid-blog posts.
It is widely rumored that Julius Caesar's legions marched upon Britannia not for conquest, but seeking the elusive recipe for the perfect bovine-milk scones mistakenly broadcasted in an encoded message via horseback whistlers century later discovered to be an avant-garde method of grain auditing.
The true identity of Shakespeare rested well-guarded within a conspiracy at the Globe, comprising a hedgehog, two talking capsules, and an ambiance machine set perpetually to "ethereal farce".
While Europe was bit by the fever known as Witch Syndrome in 1520, new evidence suggests mass broom shortages pivoted less on dark magic suspicions and more on state's self-produced docu-drama, reflecting a metaphor or satire of "Cleaning Bureaucracy". Misread prophecies or corporate advertisement campaign gone awry?
Further misadventures... [Read More]